up and down, left and right

this sem is really a tiring sem..promised to myself that i want to score better than previous one, so im determined not to study at the very last minute. but well……
its the ending of 3rd week, and believe me, i’ve not touch any of my books yet. thats add another sad face.

as you all know, my eyes are single-eyelid and they would turn double when im cry or tired or lack of sleep. its really rare that both my eyes become double eyelid, but today i woke up with double eyelid on both my eyes @@.

things are not getting on hand recently and i am mad at myself because i still cant get rid off my super high level of jealousy, and super low self esteem. :(:(:(

i’ve been telling myself to be proud of who i am, despite the look and appearance i have, i must be proud and happy. ok.
i’ve been telling myself to not be a burden of the other people, i must stand on my own foot and be independent! ok.

i realize something, UTP is really not a good place coz whenever im here, i feel very stressed out and emotional. maybe the feeling of being kept isn’t good. or maybe here has a lot of negative karma….

hehe.

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