i feel like blogging tonight, write about my thoughts and feelings…
i want students out there who thinks that they don’t have the time to breath due to their hectic schedule to be grateful and thankful that they are so focused on studies only, not any other problems that might cause more headaches and stress to add into whatever pressure they are having currently.
do not go around and complaining about the test, assignments and quizes that come non stop… you guys are really lucky to be only concentrate on studies alone.
yeah, i am repeating twice because i feel mad at those who think that their lives are so miserable now due to education. dont complain about how hard your course is or the subjects you are taking. mind you, not only specific courses are harder than the others. i believe that no matter how easy the course is, there will always a certain barrier or difficulties for the students to cope up to. also, you are not here to judge which one is easier and harder course to get a degree on. if you think that you can’t cope up with the course and start to blame the unefficiency of the way the lecturers deliver their knowledge and everything, please see around, and ponder why your other coursemates can score higher? was that your problem or the lecturers?
yeah, i know i need to adapt to this thinking also because i did complaint sometimes most of the times. human has this habit of pointing the fault to others instead of admiting it. even worse, i got to know a few of my friends that think that they are correct at all times no matter what, even though it was their mistakes. pathetic, i call them. who do they think they are? why is that so hard to say sorry and admit the fault and learn from the mistake? i strongly believe that we grow up and be more matured when we did mistakes. forgiven should be applied if they admits the mistakes rather than denied them, right?
i remembered my disciplin teacher told me, "mostly, when a thief who steals, he/she not only commit one crime but two because he/she will not admit it. when he/she denied the fact that he/she doesn’t steal, it is actually another crime that he/she made."
why did parents decrease their punishments to their children who admit their fault?
why did punishment is lighter if the prosecutor admits his/her action?
see, what is wrong to admit mistake that we did, and learn from it and not to repeat it anymore, if possible. people will definitely give you another chance, to live life again i believe.
—–end of crapping—–
back to my feelings. what am i thinking of right now? i want to go through the finals as soon as possible and spend my holidays happily i hope. the roads ahead are dark and blur. however, i won’t let it as a barrier for me from reaching Success and Happiness. I would like to thank my friends and family who were by my side when i can’t take stress appropriately. thank you for listening to me… walked with me until i see bright shining from the other side of the road. i might be annoying at times, i believe i just want some attention from you and i am glad that you never leave me behind.
friends are with you when you are rich and happy but only TRUE friends are with you when you are poor and sad.
you need to sacrifice something in order to gain something and you will gain something when you need to sacrifice something.
i am not trying to say that i am not grateful of what i am getting now, but if i do have a chance to turn things back, i do not wish i need to sacrifice so much that leave such a huge impact on my life. i rather i….
however, no matter what, it will never be the same again…..
i only pray to GOD that my mom will be safe and happy and can get over him asap and lead her own life like what she wished… and also to him, i do not wish he would wake up and regret on what he has done but hope that he can be happy and healthy and get whatever he hopes.
also to my jie jie(s) who are already grown up, will be happy with their partners and earn a lot of money… most important things are that they are healthy and happy…
to my brother, i really wished he could actually read what i am writing here. i know you do not like to be controlled, however, we will give you the freedom that you want eventually but you need to prove to us that we are doing the right thing. we have been protecting you, trying our best to provide with whatever we can give you at this time. no, we do not try to take away the car from you, but you need to know how much mummy worried about you as she can’t be your side right now. it isn’t about money that we cared, it is about your safety we want. we want you to be safe. also about studies. Knowledge and education are the important key for you to success right now. parents realized the importance of them thats why we are pushing you to complete your spm. we dont get any benefits if you score full As and you must know that the future is in your hand. if you want to walk the way like what your dad had, please go ahead coz you are so dumb and idiot. your sisters know how important education is for todays world. if not, why we bother to study? we have gone through your situation right now, it is just that your situation is a bit harder than we had, but take this a big challenge for your life. if you manage to be the top student of your school despite the difficulty that you are having, you are a CHAMPION already. i am here, struggling very hard to score higher than previous because i want to prove to them that we are not LOSER yet. i want you to know that, i am here, facing the same stress like you. just don’t always think narrow that we are pushing to you to die. sometimes, we might just carried away because we care you very much…like what you did to dad because you are trying to protect mom. things just get a bit lost control. whatever it is, i want you to know, we want still want to provide you the best and want you to REALIZE that future is in your hand, not me or mom can change it.
i am becoming a mother now, nagging my own children. 
good luck everyone for your finals and stay happy always.
